Thursday, January 27, 2011

Bedtime battles

I am so tired of having bedtime battles. I hate to end the day with struggle between myself and my children. My daughter and I, especially, have some hard times. This is not a new challenge for us. I remember thinking several years ago, around the time she moved into her big girl bed, that I needed to figure out a better way to do bedtime. I didn't want her to remember back to her childhood and have bedtime be a negative memory. I wanted (and still want) bedtime to be an enjoyable time where we read and snuggle and just soak each other up. Often that is the way it is. That means often it is not. I think my daughter must enjoy irritating me. (I know all the psychology. It may be that she is trying to get negative attention because at least it is attention. I know I get to choose how I react. Blah, blah, blah.) It starts with teeth brushing. I will be sitting with her toothbrush in my hand, ready to put it in her mouth and she spins and walks away to do something else. It is usually something like blowing her nose. It is so frustrating and she knows it. I try to ignore it and she keeps going and going until I say something. I'll be trying to do something (maybe brushing her teeth again) and she'll try to make herself yawn. It's like she wants me to sit and wait for her and she doesn't care if it makes me mad. I can't figure out what that does for her. It drives me crazy. Then we head to her room to read in her bed. I'll be waiting in her bed for her as she wanders around and piddles and dawdles. Again making me wait on her. I've started taking some inspiration from Love and Logic and the more time she walks around, the less time there is for books because I leave the room at the same time every night. It's a logical consequence but she doesn't seem to get it. She used to call me back to her bed, just as I was walking out the door. Finally, the rule became when I leave I'm not coming back so don't call me. Of course, she tested me and I had to walk out and hear her cry but she doesn't call me back anymore. Then there's the reading. I remember my mom talking about it being such torture when my younger brother and sister started to read. Listening to my daughter read doesn't bother me. If she would just flippin' read. She actually is a pretty good reader and is making great progress. I don't understand why she messes around and stops and talks about something else.

Ok, I just needed to vent. The last several nights were actually pretty good. I remember thinking how enjoyable they were. I know part of it is I'm wiped out by the end of the day. It's probably the worst when I am on my own for dinner, bath and bedtime. When my husband is home he does dishes while I start baths. When he's not here everything is a little later and that stresses me out. I probably should do dinner earlier so I feel less press for time. Hmm, I'll have to try that. Now, time for me to go to bed.

1 comment:

  1. I know this is an old post, but I just found your blog yesterday. This sounds exactly like my daughter. My husband works nights so bedtime is when he is getting ready for work. We also have a 14 month old. I am exhausted by the time the girls are asleep.