Thursday, December 30, 2010

I hate the mall.

I avoid the mall for many reasons. A big reason is to avoid spending money. If I don't see it, I don't want it. Sometimes it just can't be avoided. Recently I experienced one of those times. So, I went to the mall with my husband, children, and in-laws. This is not something we do. I can probably count the number of times I've taken the kids with me to the mall on my two hands. We had to go to two stores on opposite sides of the mall. After we did what we needed to do we walked through the mall to get back to the van. We walked past Victoria's Secret. Do they HAVE to put pictures like that in the windows? Really, is it necessary? We don't watch t.v. with commercials so exposure to those types of images is pretty limited. I could see my daughter (age 6) just staring at the pictures as we walked past. I hated it. Those pictures make me feel insecure enough about myself as it is. I hate to think what they are going to do to my daughter over time. I guess for a while I will have to plan my path more carefully.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Who am I?

I am a thirty something wife and mother. I live in the mid-west. I have a six year old daughter and a four year old son. Up until I had my daughter I was a teacher and hopefully will be going back to that before too terribly long. My husband and I celebrated our tenth anniversary this summer.

There are many things I would like to be but am not.

I'm not a very good cook, though I try. I've definitely gotten better since I've had kids. Before the kids started eating adult food I never cooked. I lived on cereal. I consider it cooking if I turn on the stove. Before the kids, I considered Hamburger Helper a good meal. I've since moved on from Hamburger Helper, but not much.

I blame the above for not being a very good menu planner. It just doesn't come naturally to me. I can not look at what is in the fridge or pantry and just figure out what to make for dinner. I have to have a plan and that doesn't always get done. Probably because...

I am not organized enough. The same goes for cleaning. I am not good at it. This also does not come naturally to me. I am trying really hard. I have some systems in place and am working hard at keeping them up. It is a constant struggle though, especially at a time like this. My house is a wreck, but Christmas was awesome.

I try to be green. I recycle whenever possible. I unplug unused appliances or use strips. I compost. But... I still use paper towels and plastic bags (though I wash and reuse the bags.) I think all the time about the amount of waste I put into landfills but don't how to live life differently.

I try to be frugal, clip coupons, spend wisely. Unfortunatley, the coupons pile up and expire. I sometimes use poor judgement when shopping. I buy something I don't need or buy the wrong thing. (Or get carried away at times like Christmas and birthdays.)

I don't say all these things to put myself down. I read one of my favorite blogs lately (Org Junkie, maybe) and she talked about why we women focus on the negative. She asked why we can't just focus on what is good. The reason I am doing this is to be honest and open. When I read some of my favorite blogs I feel inadequate. I've come to realize that maybe they aren't showing the whole picture. One blog I read a lot was by a mom who married her high school sweetheart, had a couple children and seemed to have this perfect life. Then, suddenly, she posted that she was moving out with her children and her husband did something that broke her heart and tore her family apart. You would never have thought that would be possible by following her blog.

If you want to hear from someone who is trying to be a good mom and wife but doesn't always get it right, someone who constantly strives to be better but understands what she is doing is good enough this is the place to come.