Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Last night's discussion

It didn't happen.

After we get the kids put to bed, I just don't feel like starting an argument. That's what happens. We don't have discussions. If I bring something up to my husband we either get into an argument because he gets defensive or he says nothing. I just didn't have the energy last night.

Then, while we were in bed, I asked if he started the dishwasher (I knew it was close to full before the dinner dishes.) No, was he supposed to? I thought, yea, when it's full, run it. So, I got out of bed to start the dishwasher so I could empty it in the morning. I saw that the dirty dishes were still in the sink, rinsed but not loaded into the dishwasher. Are you kidding me? Come on. The deal is if one of us makes dinner, the other does the dishes. (After dinner I took my daughter to softball practice. When we got back my husband was outside shooting hoops with our son. Before I walked in the house he said the mess wasn't completely cleaned up but he would finish it.)

When I got back in bed (after loading and starting the dishwasher) I asked if there was some reason he didn't load the dishwasher. He said he didn't know if the dishes were clean or dirty. Again, come on. It's time he learned how to tell if the dishes are clean or dirty (he has actually emptied the dishwasher of dirty dishes as well as run the dishwasher when the dishes were clean.) If there is water collected in the glasses, they are clean. I asked why he didn't ask me. Because I was at practice with my daughter. Funny, he doesn't have a problem calling me if he wants me to pick up something when I am out but to ask if the dishwasher is clean is unthinkable.

I'm so tired of having the same conversations over and over. We've talked before about him calling me if there is a question about whether the dishes are clean or dirty. We've talked before about the fact that if he doesn't finish the job, I have to. Whether that is his intention (I truly don't think it is) or not, that is the result. We've talked about the division of work around here over and over. So, I guess we will be having the discussion again soon. That should be fun. (And productive. I'm sure things will completely change.)


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