I have refrained from writing a Marriage Monday post for a while because I didn't want this blog to become all about complaining about my husband. After my post yesterday and the comments I received, as well as discussions I have had with my friends, today is the day to get back to it.
First, I want to say. I love my husband very, very much. He is a great person. We are struggling, though. I want us to be better but I don't feel like he cares enough to do anything about it. So, getting my thoughts out is therapeutic for me and I think would be helpful for other women to see they are not alone.
Yesterday was Mother's Day. I think some of us moms would be better off if there wasn't a day called "Mother's Day" because it just leads to disappointment. I know I am not the only one. Read the comments from yesterday's post. Plus, I have been talking to friends and it was no different for any of them. Are men really that clueless?
So, a couple weeks ago I told my husband not to spend a lot of money on me for Mother's Day. I wanted to get this Clarisonic face scrubber thing. It's expensive and I would otherwise not get it for myself. I figured I would get it for Mother's Day using my Discover points.
From my husband, I got nothing.
We did go out to breakfast (that's a treat for us.) As the day wore on I knew what happened. I said don't spend a lot of money, he heard don't get me anything. That's not what I said. Even if it was what I said, I didn't say do nothing for me. I didn't say spend no time or effort on me.
I am pretty low maintenance. I don't expect jewelry or something expensive. He could've said he would vacuum for me (see yesterday's post.) He could've asked what needed to be done around the house. Nope. I would've been happy with something that had to do with the kids. Have them paint a bowl or record their voices on a keychain. Help them make something for me. I really would be easy to please. But, many of those things require thinking ahead. That doesn't usually happen (another reason I feel like he doesn't care.)
After we put the kids to bed I told my husband, "I didn't say get me nothing, I said not to spend a lot of money." and headed to the bedroom. He came in and said, "I thought you said not to get you anything." I repeated myself. He went back to watching tv. That was it. No apology. No discussion. Really, that's it? You screw up Mother's Day and that's it.
Then, he slept on the couch. Didn't come tell me, just made himself comfy. I don't know what he was thinking. Did he think he was giving me some space? I think he was hiding.
Nothing like laying in my bed alone trying not to cry on Mother's Day.
I don't get it. How can he be so clueless? It just shows how little he knows me. We have been married almost 11 years. How does he not know me better?
All this happened after a big fight we had on Saturday. (Maybe I will write about that next week?) Perfect timing.
I have a lot more to say, I just can't do it right now.
More to come...